— I'ᴍ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴅᴀʀʟɪɴɢ Dᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ 'ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴀ ᴛʜɪɴɢ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ 'ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴀ ᴛʜɪɴɢ

[twelfthsong]

 

— psl clara & john 
modern au | coffee box
 

Comments

[twelfthsong]

[Her fingers are in his hair again a part of him feels like maybe this isn't right but it feels good so he keeps letting her do it. Besides, they don't stay there for very long.]

And give you the satisfaction of even admitting it? [He hummed.] I don't think so.

Ready to get going? Stay close or you'll probably get swept away by the crowd.

[makemeasong]

I'll get the Uber. [ And just so she doesn't lose him while she does that, she loops her arm through his so that he can lead while she orders. Once that's done, she tucks her phone away but also keeps her arm in his. ]

I really owe you more than shifts for this. Thank you, John, really. You saved my night.

[twelfthsong]

[John leads them again through the crowd, the mood around them light and giddy. Everyone streams by them shaking confetti from their hair and clothes, some people crying tears of happiness at having experienced the concert. Music had such a hold on people and John, for all his grumpiness, couldn't deny that Taylor Swift certainly was a master of that.]

How's that? You're the one that took me to a free concert.

[makemeasong]

So you did enjoy it. I'm taking that as an admission of such.

[ He didn't even say so but she's running with it and laughs. Once they're outside, she stops to wait with him, checking her phone. There's a piece of confetti on her cheek, just below her eye, and it's stuck to her skin in such a way that she can't even feel it. ]

We're looking for a blue Audi, fancy for five minutes.

[ And then she takes another picture of John, post concert, just because. His hair is messy and she knows it's from her, and she wants to document it. For science. ]

[twelfthsong]

[John can't help but instinctively glare and grumble out of habit but it's hard to miss the twinkle of something in his eyes. When they make it outside he's keeping an eye out for their Uber, catching sight of Clara snapping a photo of him.]

Ach, come on what's that for.

[He can't help but protest but then spots the confetti on her face. He reaches for it, plucking it from her face, fingertips brushing against her cheek.] Don't move you brought some of the concert with you.

[makemeasong]

I'm framing it and putting it on the counter at work.

[ She's teasing but then she goes stock still as his fingers brush her cheek. She feels like a cliche in a romance novel when her breath catches a little. The question is on the tip of her tongue, but if she asks now, it's going to be an awkward ride home. ]

Maybe I just never wanna forget tonight.

[twelfthsong]

[The look on his face is absolutely incredulous at her teasing suggestion, only briefly noticing that she follows his suggestion to a tee. John can't help but raise an eyebrow, their gazes lingering on one another. He's about to say something but then spots their car out of the corner of his eye.

Quickly he straightens and he reaches for her wrist to tug her along in the direction of the car.]

Our ride is here.

[makemeasong]

[ Clara exhales when he starts pulling her along, and she slides into the backseat giving herself a second to mentally freak out at herself while he gets in the car.

She has no idea what she's doing anymore, she just knows something's changed about the way she thinks about him. It makes her quiet on the ride to his car until thanking the driver and transferring vehicles. ]

I won't subject you to more Taylor Swift, it's been a long night for you.

[ Instead, she finds a playlist she thinks they both might like, classic rock, but she keeps the volume at a reasonable level. ]

[twelfthsong]

Thank god for that.

[He says it with some levity to his voice. John had noticed her quietness, but he chalked it up to her being tired after the concert. It had been a long day and they likely wouldn't get back home until past midnight so he doesn't think too much of it when they finally hit the road again. Still, he breaks the silence. ]

Hopefully you enjoyed yourself and learned a valuable lesson about not wearing heels to make your legs look longer.

[makemeasong]

[ Is he flirting with her? She has no idea if he's flirting with her. Of course, he noticed her legs, he was holding onto them. And she can still feel the warmth of his hands while he held her steady. ]

You notice my legs, huh?

[twelfthsong]

Well - [His brain stutters for a brief moment before he shakes it away, clearing his throat slightly.] I do know roughly how tall you are I see you pretty often, Clara.

[makemeasong]

She hums, not commenting. But she does glance over at him for a second before watching the city disappear.

I have a question. None of my business, I know so feel free to say so. Are you actually married?

[twelfthsong]

[John's gaze is fixed firmly forward on the road and for a moment he doesn't answer her.]

Can you pass me my glasses from the glove compartment?

[And once he's got them he thanks her and sniffed. There was no point in lying to her, but he didn't know why he was so hesitant to tell her the truth. Maybe it felt deceitful to have not told her all this time but as he reminded himself, it hadn't come up until this point. Not really. Not exactly.]

No I'm not.

[makemeasong]

[ Once he has his glasses she watches him until he answers. He isn't married though, and she believes him. But it's still a choice, letting her keep referring to his wife and never correcting her. ]

So, all those times I asked about your wife upstairs you just...decided to let me believe she existed?

[ She really tries not to sound hurt by that but she still does, just a little. She's known him for months now, and she's cried in front of him more than once. He knows everything about what she's going through but that's her fault for dumping her life on him, not his. His life was calmer before her, she's pretty sure. ]

[twelfthsong]

It seemed like the easier thing to do when you were going through your things. [He pauses.] I'm sorry I kept it from you.

[John knows it's a weak excuse and he picks up on the hint of hurt in her voice making his grip tighten on the steering wheel for a brief moment. He chalks the hurt up to the truth being withheld from her in general, the thought of Clara developing feelings for him not even crossing his mind.]

We've been divorced for a while now. [And not that he thinks it will help her at all but he quickly adds on.] Not many people ask either.

[makemeasong]

I guess it wasn't really any of my business anyway. You don't have to apologize.

[ She glances at him, smiling just a little. ] But it makes more sense. I was starting to suspect you were married to a ghost that couldn't leave your apartment or something.

[twelfthsong]

I got the impression I should. [He pauses, realizes how that sounds and quickly corrects himself.] Or rather it just felt like the right thing to do. We see each other every day. [There was a brief moment where he wondered if calling them friends was appropriate but then thought against it. His self doubt is quickly gone though and he lets out a bit of a laugh.]

I'm a divorcee that still wears his ring, not some psychopath keeping their wife locked in their apartment.

[makemeasong]

Okay, wow, way to escalate it John.

[ His laugh, even if it was just a part of one, is enough to make her at least fake levity until they get to her dad's place. ]

I wasn't gonna ask because I was afraid the car ride would be awkward, but I went for it anyway, 'cause who doesn't love an awkward car ride?

[twelfthsong]

[They've worked together in a small cafe for months now. John knows the difference between a fake tone and a genuine one and he inwardly groans. He's gone and put his foot in his mouth, hasn't he?]

It's not awkward. Well. I supposed the truth is but - [He cuts himself short with a sigh, but his next question has more curiosity to it than anything else.] Why did you ask then?

[makemeasong]

I just told you, I love awkward car rides.

[ She's so goddamn glad it's dark so he can't see how red she is. ]

I didn't think any wife on planet Earth would appreciate her husband taking another woman to a concert peppered with love songs, that's all.

[twelfthsong]

I think that's something you should keep off your future dating profile, Clara.

[The tip of his ears are pink if that makes her feel any better from this entire exchange.]

Ah. I suppose you'd be right about that one. [He pauses and scoffs.] Although, River might be the only person that might have been okay with it. But like I said she's not my wife. Not anymore.

[makemeasong]

[ The name feels familiar, but Clara brushes it off. ]

How long were you married? [ She's so curious, and now that the door has been cracked open, she wants to know more. ]

[twelfthsong]

24 years. Felt longer if I'm being honest. [The headlights cast various shadows on his face and on the lenses of his glasses as he speaks. Even with the little light that does catch his face though, Clara would be able to see his expression is as stoic and furrowed as ever.]

We had known each other a while before that though. We were classmates and then colleagues to some degree.

[makemeasong]

[ It crosses her mind that she has no right to have a crush on someone who already gave his heart away once. What are the chances he ever will again? But at least she can feel okay about having a crush on him. ]

Sorry it didn't work. [ She can see his face and watches him for a second before looking out of her window. ] I know one thing for sure. You didn't break up because you aren't a good person. No one mean would ever take an employee to a Taylor Swfit concert.

[twelfthsong]

[That makes him laugh despite himself. It stops him from slipping down the inevitable rabbit hole that is ruminating about why his marriage with River had fallen apart.]

Don't be sorry. It's better for two people to be better apart than they are together and sometimes that's just what it comes down to. We're better friends now than we were husband and wife.

[He glances towards the ring on his finger, the brushed gold catching the light.]

Can I tell you a secret?