twelfthsong | — I'ᴍ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴅᴀʀʟɪɴɢ Dᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ 'ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴀ ᴛʜɪɴɢ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ 'ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴀ ᴛʜɪɴɢ

That's the answer right there.

[ Clara takes a deep breath and rubs her face. ] At least I know now. I was never gonna be able to do the right thing so as soon as I pull enough of my pay together I'm finding a flat closer to the shop. He doesn't want me there, so I'll go.

[ She's hurt, though. She lost her mum and it feels like she's lost her dad now, too. ]

Clara -

[John stops himself, uncertain if he should continue. He’s heard and seen more than he’s sure she would like but that isn’t an invitation to meddle. It isn’t like she’s asked him for advice or help either and what he wants to say may come across like he’s siding with her dad. Perhaps it’s best not to say anything at all. But then it dawns on him that he cares and he can’t just let her think that she’s alone in this.]

Space might be good for the both of you. If you want I can give you an advance in pay. You can just put in the extra hours between your photography gigs.

[ Clara looks up at him, then back out at the sidewalk in front of them, sighing softly. ]

Do you know you're my only friend? I thought I had loads, but they all stopped pretending to want to help a long time ago. Other than you, I feel like everyone's just...gone and left me.

[ She tried to fill it up with meaninglessness, one night stands and the like. But it never helped and then it only caused embarrassment at the shop. ]

[The last thing anyone should do when they've just been told that they're someone's only friend is laugh. Especially when you take into the consideration everything that said person has gone through in the last hour - hell even last several months.

But John, for all his growth, still can't help but splutter a bit of a laugh as he stops in his tracks.]

Clara, I can't be your only friend. I'm sure that's not even true. There's absolutely no way that your only friend in Lancashire is a 50-something year old man that owns a coffee shop.

[ Clara stops walking and stares at him. ]

Fine. My only other friend is a mum with two kids and a husband. Can't exactly drop everything, and it's not really fair of me to expect her to. So yeah, you are.

[ She huffs and starts walking again, crossing her arms over her chest. She hates her life sometimes, and this is shaping up to be one of those times. ]

Wait - Clara - I didn't mean it like that.

[At least he has enough EQ to realize when he's gone and completely made an ass out of himself. Thankfully his long legs means he catches up with her quickly enough.]

What I meant to say was that we're always more critical on ourselves. You probably have more friends than you think you do you just have to...reach out to them again. [He's trying! He really is!]

You could just believe me.

[ Clara sighs softly and looks at him. ] I didn't mean to make it weird. Your wife'll probably take it the wrong way so let's just pretend I didn't say anything and you're right and I'm not pathetic.

[And there it is again. The mention of his wife.]

I do believe you. That's why I made such a grand, sweeping statement. That's why I laughed at how silly your previous claim was.

[He holds her gaze for a moment longer before kicking a rock in front of him, sending it skittering ahead of them on the sidewalk.]

She wouldn't mind; she'd probably love the idea of me making a friend at my age. Probably.

I hope she doesn't mind if your friend comes with emotional baggage that keeps spilling everywhere.

[ Clara mutters it, watching the rock and when they get to it again, she kicks it next. ]

I really love my old job, but it cost me. I hadn't seen my mum since Christmas. I hadn't been home for friend's weddings or hen nights. I have awards for my work, but none of those are helping me find a place for my nan to live. It's my own fault, I don't really have the right to cry about it.

She's an archeologist so objectively, she loves baggage.

[Just not his, he thinks mildly but he doesn't voice it aloud.]

We all have to make choices in life though, don't we? You made the choices that got you here and now you've got a new set of them. [They catch up with the rock and he gives it a kick.] The way I see it, you can continue to mope about me being your only friend or you can make amends with your friends and reconnect.

Impressive job title.

[ She means it, too. ]

Have you ever had to do anything like that? Because I don't even know where to start.

Impressive title for a force of a woman.

[There's no bitterness to it. In fact there's a hint of respect there.]

Are you asking because I'm technically more worldly? [He's teasing of course.] I've done it a couple of times. Some don't want to reconnect and you have to accept that but there are others who are just as bad at keeping in touch with you and are more than happy to. But you won't know until you try.

[ He sounds proud of his wife, and for a hot second Clara wonders what that would feel like. But she's pretty sure she isn't marriage material - who wants to travel around the world, not settle down, and not have kids? As soon as she can, Clara plans to get back to her life, her job, but maybe, with John's help, more connected to people. ]

I was asking because you put out a really good gruff exterior - the eyebrows help - but you like to help whatever way you can. You genuinely care about others and how they feel, even if all you do is listen. That's why I asked. And it wasn't bad advice, so you're pretty good at it.

[The rub of it is that he is proud of River. He's proud of all her accomplishments and her drive and her taste for life. None of that would ever change even though they had separated.]

Well. I'll remember that if you ever get really angry at me and cuss me out. [There's an undeniable smile in his eyes when he says it though.] I'll credit years of teaching and accidentally having to play counsellor to my students.

You'll be fine. You're just figuring life out.

[ Clara takes his advice: she's figuring out life and she reaches out to old friends. Most of them chitchat for a while but there's nothing there. Everyone's a parent, or in a serious relationship, or a 9-5 desk job.

When she does finally get ahold of one of her old roommates, it seems promising. They get together for drinks and have a good time together, getting to know one another again. Because of Clara's connections taking photos around the world, she's occasionally sent gifts and she's gifted two tickets to a Taylor Swift concert. She asks Mal to go with her and they decide to make an entire night of it, getting dressed up and meeting at the coffee shop first. Typically she wears jeans and a nice top or jumper, sometimes a skirt with tights to work, and then an apron goes over it all. She never wears heels because she's on her feet all day, so she's wearing a cute dress with high heels to see over people's heads. Her makeup is done, her hair is curled in soft waves, and she waves at John as she makes her way to the counter. ]

I'm meeting Mal here so you can see I'm not all drama and messy proposals.

[John returns to being an observer in the lives of those around him including Clara's. He does see her genuinely trying to reconnect and taking his advice to heart and finds that he enjoys listening to her tell him about things worked or didn't. Relationships were always tricky but at the end of the day all they could do was try. A part of him wondered briefly if he should introduce Clara to some of his friends - which was a surprising thought in and of itself - Amy and Bill coming to mind. But maybe that would be meddling. He isn't sure.

He hands off his latest order to the customer looking up just in time to see Clara stride up to the counter.]

Ah that would explain it. Did you shower?

Oh, damn, I knew I forgot something.

[ She grins at him, genuinely happy to be going out. ] I haven't been to a concert in ages, and my mum liked listening to her music too, so it's sort of...I dunno. cathartic.

[ Clara checks her phone but there's still time. ] Are you bored without me? It's okay if you admit it.

It'll be a nice way to commemorate her. Have fun.

[Despite that it's hard for him to think about anyone but younger women around Clara's age liking the pop singer but he doesn't say anything else apart from that. He gives her a look as he cleans the espresso machine voice dripping with sarcasm]

It'll feel like months without your parade of heartbroken suitors livening up the place.

Edited 2022-08-19 18:32 (UTC)

[ Sometimes parents think they're sacrificing for their kids and wind up liking something. It happens! C'mon, John. ]

Oh, your sarcasm is duly noted.

[ She's in a good mood, but as the minutes tick by she keeps glancing at her phone. When her phone finally buzzes she reads the message and shoves her phone at John because she tried thanks to his advice. The text is short: using your M.O. gotta bail, sorry xoxo. ]

I guess it's my own fault, though. No one else has actually wanted to meet up, I should've known.

Edited 2022-08-19 21:43 (UTC)

[He busies himself after that half expecting her friend to stroll through the door at any moment. Suddenly a phone is pushed in front of him and he squints at it.]

Well that’s a shitty way to cancel plans at the last minute.

[His brow is still furrowed when he looks back at Clara. He wants to reassure her somehow that he’s sure there’s a reason that Mal bailed but he knows how empty that would sound.]

There has to be someone else that would go with you. It’s Taylor Swift isn’t she the biggest thing right now?

[ Clara sighs, but then has a very bright idea. ]

Would you come? You don't have to buy anything and I'll open and close every Sunday for the rest of the summer. Please?

[ She throws in the bribe first, how could he resist Sunday mornings doing whatever it is he would rather be doing than serving people heading home from church. ]

Me? [His eyebrows arch.] Clara I don't know if you've listened to the music I play in here but it's not exactly Taylor Swift.

[Maybe he can call Bill or Amy. Taylor Swift seemed far more up their alley than it does his.]

I have listened and would it kill you to try something new? Besides, I tried to tell you you're my only friend but oh no, you had to give me advice and then I went and followed it. So whose fault is it that I just got stood up?

[ Clara holds her hands out as if to say 'I rest my case.' ]

Oh no, this isn't my fault. I said you should try and you did. How does what I told you bring you to the conclusion that I should go with you to a concert for millennials and Gen Z?

[Did Gen Z even listen to Taylor Swift? He doesn't know but he's assuming.]

Clara, I'm going to look like grandfather. Or father.

[Neither of which are bad things but he digresses.]

[ Clara visibly deflates, realizing he probably wouldn't have a good time anyway. And he has a wife who'd probably have something to say about him going to a concert with his employee anyway. Ugh, her life. ]

Alright, well. She puts her purse on the counter and begins making her way around the counter. Not wasting the walk all the way here, I'll finish. You can go upstairs and listen to someone who plays a killer guitar or something.

[ She isn't angry at him, just in general, and mostly at life, but her words definitely come out sharp. ]

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